Letting go of the How

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Compass Vs. Map

Often times, we get caught up in the 'how' of accomplishing our dreams, and let it diminish or overpower the why. It's easy to get caught up in the image of what you want your life to look like - we're creatures that crave certainty and answers - but surrendering to the journey, as hard as it is, is what will open you up to all the endless possibilities around you.

Picture yourself working on a puzzle, and having a particular order in mind of which pieces should go in a which time. You know the RUSH of going on a puzzle streak, and all of a sudden you find 15 pieces in one area? (Where my puzzle nerds at?!). Had you been so focused on finding the top left piece, your eyes would have been blind to the 15 pieces you didn't mean to get in, but fit quickly at the time and led you closer to finishing the puzzle.

On the flip side, you know when you're focused on something, and then you see it everywhere? When I was considering a nose ring, it suddenly felt like every other person on the street had a nose ring. When my brother bought a black jeep, it felt like there were an absurd amount of black jeeps on the highway (not sponsored, but, uhm, Jeep, where you at?).

All this to say, what you focus on appears. So if my goal is to record a single and I have no sweet clue where to start, I'm going to hold strong to my WHY (I want to record a single because....) and then remain open to the how. Soon, just by holding this in my mind, I will start seeing opportunities pop up all over the place, even in the ordinary. (What?! My public school friend is a producer now? What are the chances that the random girl I met in the bar plays cello and I wanted that on my track? Wait, that sentence they just said is a perfect song title.)

Opportunities are always there, but clinging to our decided path to our goals closes off all other avenues.

Someone I had the chance of interviewing is a prolific Broadway performer. She is originally from Stratford, Ontario, and had worked a lot in the Stratford theatre. She had her sights set on Broadway, and was auditioning for Broadway shows, but the way she first got to Broadway was through a Stratford Festival show getting picked up by Broadway, moving her to the big apple and the Broadway Stage. Can you imagine how differently her career would have panned out had she said no to the Stratford show to keep her sights set on Broadway?

Everything connects eventually

Keep saying yes to the things that light you up, and they will take you where you're meant to be.

Marianne Williamson talks about the 'Greater Intention". She says that an acorn doesn't spend its whole life trying to decide what it's good for. It's not humming, hawing, doubting, stressing. It is simply growing, and it turns into an oak tree because, well, that's why the acorn was place on the earth in the first place. That was its greater intention. It was made up of the things that are required to turn into a strong, sturdy tree, so inevitably, that's what it became.

In regards to starting, not knowing how to get where you want to go can often stop a project before we even get going on it. Wether it's lack of clarity or fear of the big picture, it's easy to get in our own way when trying to first get going. Have you ever heard of the star fish story? It goes like this:

"A young man is walking along the ocean and sees a beach with thousands of starfish. There is also an old man, who is walking slowly and stooping often, picking up one starfish after another and tossing each one gently into the ocean. The young man says to the old man: why are you doing this? You can’t possibly save all of the starfish. What you’re doing doesn’t make a difference at all! The old man simply replied, as he threw another starfish back into the sea: “It made a difference to that one.”

I often cling to this reminder during any creative project. It reminds me to just do the next right thing. If I feel unclear or daunted by a situation, I take the next useful step I see, and then the next. No matter the size. It could be a big audition or just finding an email address of someone you want to collab with. Continue to tiptoe forward until you're running with momentum. It's like we're driving through the fog, only being guided by the yellow and white lines immediately in front of us, until the fog lifts and we enjoy the view.

Let's try releasing our strong grip to how we thing things 'should' be. Let's let go of our judgements, fears, and assumptions on what life should look like, and trust that what is yours will find you.

Let things unfold in their own way - because really, they're going to any way. We just get to decide if we're stressed out of our mind trying to manipulate them, or if we're at peace with them. We'll learn our lessons and find our way, it's up to us wether it's with trust, peace and gratitude, or fear, control, and force.


Release, cling to the why, and trust. You're already well on your way.


Letting Go of the How Worksheet.png
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Complete and Continue