I’m a story-teller. Whether it be through songwriting, poetry, or choreography, I love telling stories. I’ve always been a creative. I grew up singing into hair brushes, making up musicals, and crying when I saw people in spotlights (which happened so often that I thought that was just the normal reaction to a soloist in a spotlight? Guess not.) I’ve always painted with large strokes, and have a big bright burning desire in my chest - a certain knowing - that I’m made for great things.
But here’s the thing. I grew up in a small town in Ontario, Canada. My wildest dreams felt so far away that I got into the regular habit of getting in my own way. I got REAL good at reminding myself of all the things I lacked, and chose fear, safety, and practicality over a bold and intentional life, time and time again.
As an aspiring artist growing up in a rural hockey town, I was an anomaly. I learned to adapt.
In high school, I joined the track and field team in high school instead of seeking out programs to fan my artist flame. I didn’t think I was capable.
I put myself on the back burner.
Later in life, I went to University for something practical. I didn’t think the arts were worth it.
I put myself on the backburner.
I then launched a business which put me in an office chair rather than the stage. I thought it was too late.
I put myself on the backburner.
All the while, I knew that flame inside was starved.
I knew I was made for something more, but I didn’t know what. I looked around me and didn’t see an example of the life I wanted to model. So I kept busy. I layered the yearning in my chest with impossible to-do lists.
But one day, I felt a stirring, and a poem fell on to the paper, top to bottom, no edits, almost like it was handed down to me in full form. It was a poem of yearning, and of forgotten belief in myself (you'll see in in Section one of this course!)
This was my wake-up moment. My reminder that I had the urge inside because it was MINE. I knew that when I was younger, but hardened with fear as I grew older. But I saw in that moment that my dreams belonged to me, and I have my desires for a reason. De-sire itself means ‘Of the Father’. They were designed FOR me specifically. They matched my skills and opportunities, and were meant to be achieved. Of course they were! Why else would they be put inside me?!
As an aspiring artist in a small town, all I wanted to do was get out, until I learned how to turn in.
I turned inside, and found a universe of inspiration. I realized that I didn’t need to be a certain somewhere, or have a certain someone in my life to make things happen for me. I had to give myself permission to move inward to myself each and every day, and redefine success as knowing myself fully and chasing my inner flames with reckless childlike abandon.
I know firsthand that this is an ongoing battle. I know this is a realization that I’ve had in the past, and will have again in the future. My teachings are meant to serve as a reminder of your innate importance, an alarm clock for your forgotten snoozing desires, and a start gun for the inner-child chomping at the bit to come back out and play again.
Let’s wake up, shall we?
As Ram Das says, “We’re all just walking each other home”. Let me walk beside you, and guide you inwards to wake up your inner artist, and choose yourself. I’m joining you in the uphill battle of making choices daily that support your wildest dreams, and rejoice in your phenomenal, individual spirit. It’s not an easy journey, but it’s maybe the most important one you’ll decide to take.
After all, this is your one wonderful and precious life. What are you going to do with it?